Resolution

It’s the first of the year and I’m going to lose weight

so I’ll bounce out of bed when I wake.

I shall weigh all the food that I put on my plate

when I’ve had just one more slice of cake.

It’s the first of the year and I’m planning to write

in a diary backed with gold foil.

I have filled up my pen, but the page is so bright

I’m afraid it is too nice to spoil.

It’s the first of the year and I’m joining the gym;

I shall tone up from tiptoes to crown.

I shall stretch and lift weights and become fit and slim,

but first I shall have a sit down.

It’s the first of the year and I’m giving up booze

since last night, when I fell on the cat.

I’ll try to be sober. Can I be excused

to lift two or three glasses to that?